Baby Quails - Awe they're so cute!

About four months ago we hatched a batch of baby quails, anticipating quail eggs in 7 weeks.  Lacking enough acreage to legally raise chickens, we turned to game birds.  Quail stood out from the selection for many reasons: they're small, quiet, quick to mature and produce, and their eggs are nutritionally superior to other domestic poultry.  Quail eggs are considered a delicacy in many countries, and in Brazil it is common to eat them raw in smoothies.  They seemed perfect for our needs.

However, it turned out reading and research could not prepare me for the unforgiving reality of the food web.

Three quails taking a sand bath together

Life truly is delicate.  Some of the quails died, some were born ill, some were eaten by preditors, some escaped...  From the small 12 foot deep patch of forest behind our house, various before unseen creatures emerged.  Suddenly we had ground hogs, snakes, and even a large neighborhood cat.  We remodeled their pen following each tragedy, but were none the less outsmarted by a new infiltrator.  This is the quail pen we'll be getting next.

With all these events, I'm amazed I've kept my two kids unharmed and healthy for so many years!

I found a woman on craigslist, Cindy, who raises all kinds of avian, rabbits and farm animals.  She offered to take my last two surviving quails.  The two survivors were both cocks.  Without a hen in the roost they seemed awfully lonely.  The largest Brown Cortonix cock would crow all day long.  Hearing his cries pulled at my heart and transmitted immutable reminder of my failure as a quail mama.  

Cindy's Quail Coop, also houses Pigeons and Doves

I tried to convince Mari to cook them but he refused.  And I couldn't muster up the courage.  I'm so grateful we found Cindy to adopt them.  She has over 200 quails that produce 8 dozen eggs a day!  When I dropped the little guys off, they sincerely looked blissful in a giddy poultry way.  At least the big guy did.  The little guy may have been a bit frightened.

Visiting her farm turned out to be better than a trip to the Reston Petting Zoo.  Cindy's not a full time farmer; she's got an office day job.  But she's devoted and hooked on caring for animals and producing her own food.  She sells rabbits and quail eggs, enough to cover the feed costs for the rest of the animals.

A Rex rabbit - softest fur that feels like velvet. This boy is a show rabbit

Cindy gave us a tour and answered our million questions about how build a better enclosure for quails.

Various Chicken Breeds and some Guinea Birds

We had her address in Aldie, but couldn't spot the house number from the street.  Instead we found her by following a flock of Guinea birds roaming wild in the neighborhood.  Guinea serve as scout birds because they will scream if predators approach.  They also eat up all the area ticks!

you know you needed to see that

eggs all over

Old goats

Emu.  (they scare me)

Cindy even soothed my conscious by telling her own stories of the many predators that robbed her of quails in the early years.  She sent us off with three dozen hatching eggs.

Now we're on our second batch of baby quails.  Mari made a trip to Lowe's and came back with supplies to reinforce the quail coop.  He's not done building it yet, but hopefully next week.

Various breeds hatched: Texas White, Brown, Golden, Tuxedo, Tibetan

Twenty two little quails hatched from the three dozen eggs.  That's over a 50% hatch rate, which ain't bad.  I can't explain the emotion seeing a little one emerge from the egg.  They come out with such determination.  Sometimes quickly and sometimes very slowly.  If you shine a light in the incubator, all the hatched birds will flock over and start chirping and stepping on each other to try to get a closer look.  You're not supposed to open the incubator until all have hatched.

Hanging out at the water cooler

Until their permanent home is built, they are living in our room with a heat lamp.   For these photos I adjusted the white balance to try to offset the red hue.  Hopefully you can get a sense for their color.  The light ones are a tint yellow.  Their feathers should grow whiter with time.

Playing on their "Playground"  tunnel

I have to say they seem rather confused.  I think they're wondering where their mommies are hiding.  Nene keeps asking me that, "Where's their mommy?"

"We are their mommy."  I say.  But that does not appease her.

Water bowl with some rocks so they do not slip and fall

Our baby quails were born on July 4th and are almost three weeks old now.  They've begun to sprout wing feathers.  I ordered three thousand organic meal worms to supplement their diet with added fat and protein.

These meal worms were raised on organic wheat germ

They like carrots

So now we're raising quails and meal worms in our bedroom.  We've started our own little biosphere up in here!


If you're interested in Cindy's Rabbits or Quail eggs email me and I'll pass you on her contact info.

Whoa! Planning Meals and Cleaning the Kitchen!

Beef with Zucs

Zucchini

All about food.  But then, isn't it always?  My friend and I tried a new approach last week.  We planned 4 days worth of meals, bought all the ingredients, and cooked everything at once.  We packed each dish in serving size containers and and lovingly placed them in the fridge for easy hunger access.  This took the thinking out of feeding the family.  All our meals were paleo (no grain, no dairy).  The only catch:  it took us about 6 hours to cook and prep, plus a couple hours of planning.  But, we did get to hang out, and girl friend time always rocks.

Beef and Mushroom Goulash

She came over to my house and I think gained an appreciation for why it's so difficult for me to cook something without burning or at least over cooking.  The kids dutifully interjected and distracted as often as possible, "Mom, can I have some lemon-aid?...Mom, where's my train?... Mama, play with me."  Luck for ME the food turned out great since at least SHE was paying attention to cooking.  I helped.  Chop the onions and stuff.

Since taking such a major chunk of time out completely exhausted me, and tested the kid's patience; this week I'm trying a hybrid approach.  I'm meal planning: selecting what recipes I'd like to make for the next four days, listing the ingredients to buy, and prepping the day before.  I'm cooking the day of eating.  Having a CSA complicates this a bit, since I don't know exactly what veggies will come.  But I'm going to wait until after the pick up to solidify the shopping list and make adjustments to the recipe list.

Fish and Tomato and Almond

So far so good.  I posted the entrees on the fridge, so I can remember what to prep next.  Prepping the day before is especially important since many of my recipes are Nourishing Traditions and require soaking or stock.  The list on the fridge has already saved my butt twice as I remembered to take the fish/chicken/etc out of the freezer to defrost the day before (I almost always used to forget!).

And in major developments: Kaio has started eating vegetables!  I watched today with wonder, surprise, and jubilation as he devoured chicken pesto for lunch, cod and potato salad for dinner, and all his lettuce.  Last week he even ate squash soup and sauteed kale.  Amazing.  This is the kid who lived off rice, beans, lentils, and fruit for most of his 4 year life.  It seems my plan of cutting him off from grains worked magic.  Either that or taking him out of preschool, where he'd eat processed Gluten Free snacks twice a day.  Either that or meal planning makes me a better cook.  Probably ALL OF THE ABOVE.

Beach Style Brazilian Fish

He didn't even complain before taking a bite out of the cod and potato salad.  Usually, lunch and dinner always begins with a fight.  We fight to get him to sit at the table.  Then he protests that the food is "yucky" and we have to coax him through the meal.  The best tactic we've found is to say, "Kaio, I'm going to eat your food."  Then he comes running over screaming, "Nooooo!"  and complains a bit but eventually eats.  But today, no fight.  He even asked for thirds!  I seriously could not believe it.

In other MAJOR developments: the kitchen is clean.  It used to be NASTY.  Embarrassingly nasty because I absolutely abhorred wiping.  Looking at that dirty sponge, getting my hands wet, and all that yuck provided too much deterrent.  Mari and I just lived with the splattered food stains all over.  We're not clean freaks as you can tell.

Then, at the last trip to Trader Joe's, something possessed me to pick up a bottle of their Cedar and Sage scented cleaning solution.  I don't know if it's new, or if I've just never seen it before, or if the hand of God guided me.  I love the smell of cedar.  I actually wanted "Cedar" as the name for our little girl.  But tree names are not ok for girls in Portuguese since they are grammatically masculine.

So now, I like cleaning!  I wiped everything down: the kitchen, the bathroom, the foyer, the dining room!  I surprised my mom yesterday, "It's really clean.  I've never seen it this clean."

Yep, that's me.  Turning into a regular June Cleaver.

My Life Mission

They call the first month of unemployement the toughest.  You feel demoralized, undervalued, disliked, helpless, and lost.  Lucky for me, kids offer tons of distraction.  But, I've still been plagued with recycling thoughts and philosophies around my life direction.

Is it really ok that I'm not pursuing a career?  Is it really alright that my identity revolves around my children and home?

I always come to the same conclusion: yes it is, chill the f*** out and get a job when you need/want/feel like it!  I've bounced these thoughts off various friends.

The most encouraging folks have been my (ex) colleagues at work.  The team of three of us who got laid off together set up a recurrent weekly meeting to support each other for this first month.  They've been my most fervid cheerleaders of stay at home parenting.  Steve's wife left her career as a chemical engineer 18 years ago and never looked back.  He choked up on the phone recounting the profound impact of her decision, "Our kids are so great, we've never had a problem.  I know I owe this to her being there.  She can sense if something is wrong and talk to them about it.  She teaches them and guides them though discovering as they grow."

Kate also stayed home with her children, supplemented income by providing in-home daycare, and only went back to work after her children left for college.  "I can't stress enough how important I feel it is to be at home with your children.  Actually, when I went back to work my son started having trouble in school and I didn't hear about it for a month.  Then I decided to cut back on working and focus on volunteering at the school.  My son needed more attention than my daughter and if I wasn't around then I don't think he would have turned out as well."

But I was still harboring these incessant thoughts of 'what to do with my life.'  Feeling like my parents had worked so hard to give me choices and opportunity and I'd be dishonoring their investment in my education to throw my career away.  Yes, that's what consciously deciding to not get a job feels like: tossing my vested experience to the birds.

I never particularly desired a career in IT and I frequently daydreamed about transitioning into health sciences.  I studied psychology in undergrad and enjoyed participating in the research community.  Last week I checked out a local Master's of Acupuncture program and then began investigating whether I would qualify for low cost daycare through Virginia Social Services.  I just kept feeling the need to do something.  But knowing that would add another layer of complication to our family life.

My mind took off in-flight chasing jets planes of hypothetical life scenerios, shooting each one down, and always landing at the same conclusion: "chill the f*** out, enjoy the kids, you can pick up a profession later in life."

Then, peace at last.  During our last call Kate asked if I had any short term goals for my time with the little ones.

No.  I didn't.  I dodged the question by asking if it was crazy for me to wait until the kids go to school to get a job. To which she went into a long response about how not-crazy that is.

This weekend I sat down and drafted a mission statement, themes, and short and long term goals for my life. Writing these thoughts down brought me such peace!  Freeing the obsessive repetitive thoughts, placing them on paper, looking at them, analyzing them, finding comfort and security in them...  I feel so much better.  Somehow seeing my plan on paper, in crayon, grounded me.

Now here's the giveaway that I come from corporate America; I aligned each goal with themes from my life mission.  A funny thing happened when I brainstormed the themes: I realized achievement is important to me.

Not to say that raising kids isn't an achievement!  But, frankly, I'd like to go on to do something GREAT eventually.  Like, earn-a-page-about-me in Wikipedia kind of GREAT.  What's funny is that I hope my kids grow up to be happy and generally successful.  Why do I hold myself to a higher standard?  I don't know.  I'm not humble I guess. I'd really like to accomplish something significant for society.

So I realized I definitely want a professional identity outside of the home - and that can be a part of my long term goal.  I can see how focusing on my kids and family now fits into my life mission.  This stage doesn't need to feel like a step back, or a PAUSE button, but really another stage in my development.  It feels secure and smart to focus on certain elements of my mission now and take on longer term elements as the appropriate time arises.

I also realize that going back to work in IT could be a part of my future if I need the income to maintain the Mission Theme of "Comfort."  Seeing how working in IT could fit into my life mission helped me make peace with the possibility that I may need to go back to work.  So if it happens, I'm not allowed to whine about selling out my soul anymore.

Would you like to see?  Here it is anyway.  Work in progress.  I left space to add more goals.  Written in crayon (no spell checker - ugh - embarrassing), taped to the wall in our room, subject to change and evolution.

If you're interested in doing a mission statement exercise, I'll share my process.  Google search reveals lots of websites with instructions much more intensive than mine.
1. Brainstorm words that capture your particular values
2. Group the words and identify the key themes and how they relate
3. Form sentences that join the words coherently and logically
4. Keep it short and sweet
5. Then draft some goals, start with some really easy and simple ones.  See how they align to your mission themes.
6. Make a goal (long or short term for each of the themes)
7. Enjoy the feeling of creating a path for your personal nirvana

Let me know how it goes

Corned Beef

Took a stab making Corned Beef according to the recipe in Nourishing Traditions.  I just happened to have all of the spices the recipe called for on hand (mustard, bay leaf, red pepper flakes, and juniper).  They looked beautiful together.   The smell reminded me of Bombay Sapphire Gin.  Fond memories there, lots of Sapphire and Tonics.  Bombay Sapphire claims to be infused from 10 exotic botanicals, including juniper.

So I followed the NT recipe to make the corned beef: rubbed the seasoning on a 2 lb piece of brisket, set it to soak in water and whey at room temperature for 2 days.  Seeing that raw meat soaking on the counter, now we're scared to try it.  I cooked a couple slices in a frying pan and we tasted those.  Flavorful but very salty (i know that's the point).  I'm thinking of trying with some shitaki shrooms tomorrow, or some potatoes to make corned beef hash.

Laid off

Over a week since being laid off, or put on 'redeployment' as they now call it (see next paragraph for explanation), and I haven't felt much urge to write. I guess I'm still adjusting to the new life of no trips to the office, no meetings to attend, and no work emails to respond or route. My mind gratefully evicted the amphitheater reserved for work stuff: to-do lists, stress over future meetings, recycling of "shoulda said this" conversations, drama with coworkers, and my constant dissonance between over-achievement and jadedness. I'm happy to purge those dumb workplace preocupations.

The redeployment period should really be referred to as the SH Memorial Month. A Vice President with over 22 years with the company, initials SH, committed suicide after being let go after the last Reduction In Force (RIF). Now the new policy is to offer a month of redeployment in which employees can seek other positions in the company. It gives us a glimmer of hope and hopefully prevents us from shooting ourselves.  I don't mind because it gives me a month to use up my Flexible Spending Account before my insurance coverage runs out.

I'm not even bothering to look for another position. They've had layoffs every quarter since I started working there. I've had five different bosses in the year and a half. Dysfunctional.

Today I organized our family's socks. I took every single sock, matched them with the pair, and threw away the ones with holes or without matches. The laundry bin full of mismatched socks has now finally been made void. Do you have any idea how good that feels?!

Shit like that accumulating, itching, tormenting me with shallow pangs of exhaustion and defeat. Knowing the backlog of things to deal with would never reach sock basket level of priority.

So I'm enjoying the downtime to get caught up.  I've done the dishes every day this week.  I call that an accomplishment.

But, we've also been out and about as usual.  Some photo highlights:

Kaio's learned how to work the camera.

Making time for puddle splashing




this was not staged

Starting a band at Brewfest

Little doll relishing fresh squeezed while we enjoy brews





Reconstructing Angry Birds


Kaio busted her Angry Birds castle, then shot Nene crying

First carrot! kinda stubby


Kaio's pick of me

Turning a New Leaf

The great thing about being kicked out of the corporate world is that you don't need to spend money on stupid professional looking blouses, suits, and jewelry.  I can go back to shopping at thrift stores.  I can dye my hair purple and pierce my lip.  I can erase the uncomfortable memories of feeling confused, bored, and out of place.

I've been secretly (and not so secretly) praying for this moment.

It's going to be tough to survive on one salary, it really is.   So I'm worried, but optimistic.  Scratch that. Scared.  I've been bored out of my mind at work and hoping for this chance to reset by goals and direction.  But staying home all day with a cranky disobedient four year old will be a major test of my mothering instinct and resilience.

Fleeting Windows of Beauty

We had a tough time agreeing on a name for Nalini (Nene).  You try finding a name that works in two
languages.  I wanted Adelaide or Cypress or Cedar.  Trees are masculine in Latin languages, so no tree names for girls.  Mari wanted Isadora or Isabella.  

Turns out Asia is our middle ground.  The name Nalini originates from the Sanskrit word for Lotus flower.  It's no wonder that Nene's so crazy for flowers now.  She'll spend an hour picking dandelions, clover flowers, or azaleas.  This really tested my patience when I'd try to round her up to the car or house.  

In a short spring I've aged.  

I've seen those azaleas bloom and wilt.  

I realize the fleeting windows of beauty.  

Just once a year she'll have the simple joy of picking the pink flowers.  

I should let her take as much time as she wants.

Crying Out

Lots of thoughts going through my head right now, but I'm just not sure how appropriate it is for me to write them.  I've had a couple professionals advise me to get Kaio evaluated for ASDs.

Sometimes life seems really difficult for him.  I thought he was doing better since last year.  But lately he's been reverting to acting over dramatic, out of touch, and out of control.  I keep playing around with our diets.  But can't tell what is helping.  It's impossible to isolate causal relationships when so many aspects of life are changing at every moment.  There is no 'controlled conditions'  here.  So I have to rely on my gut, per se.  I sense there is something off digestively with him.  For the last two weeks he's been complaining his stomach hurts.

But just hearing a professional suggest that, sent waves of emotion through me.  And on the way home from his IEP the radio was talking about diet and Autism.  As if speaking to the moment.

I've decided to try out GAPS for a couple months and see if that helps.  Two weeks ago we went on a short vacation and let him eat pizza a few times in a row.  Since then he's been saying that his stomach hurts.  Maybe I'll make an appointment with a doctor to get him muscle tested.

Sometimes he's so sweet and other times a pain in the a##.  I just love him to death, but man is he a handful.

  My mom says I was the same way.

The birds living in our chimney make lots of noises at night.  I wonder what is going on?

INVASION!!!

In a surprise statement from the Home Force (HF)  Joint Chiefs of Staff, the HF declared resource warfare with The Very Hungry Caterpillar.  The office sited provocation by the caterpillar army, who destroyed garden infrastructure and food stores in the East Garden.  The HF expressed that they would like to negotiate a treaty if possible, however this was in fact a declaration of War until word of caterpillar army retreat.  This request following news that the caterpillar army decimated the east garden: pillaging the towns of Kale and Cauliflower.  Allied with other aphids, the caterpillar army moved on to the town of Pepper. 
In the 1st line of defense, HF dropped a blanket spray of canola oil on the hostile takeover army.  According sources speaking anonymously, two invaders were captured and taken hostage.  The two prisoners of war (POWs) were interrogated by Lt. Kaio, one POW somehow escaped custody and the other was extradited to Quailamino Bay.  He has not been seen or heard from since. 
Home Force defended their treatment of the caterpillar army, "In our operations we try to be as surgical as possible, targeting only hostile forces and bases of operations, not the general caterpillar population. " According to the HF spokesperson, Geneva conventions were followed in every case.  
Call to the caterpillar army for comment was not returned in time for print of this article.  

My Kids Aren't Bad! how dare you!

On Sunday my kids got into house paint in the garage and painted a wooden table stored in there while I was watching a movie on the sofa.  Dude!  I was pissed.  But I handled things really well.  I took them into the bedroom, sat them down, explained why they can't paint things without asking me, why they can't ever play in the garage alone, and why they always need to stay in my sight.  Then I made them wash themselves and help us clean up the mess in the garage.
The ordeal was effectively under control.  But, I was pissed at the fact that I can't just have a lazy cloudy Sunday watching a movie any more.  No, something so simple in a kidless world, is now a self-indulgent, unattainable luxury.  And so I did what I usually do when I'm pissed: vent on facebook and then delete the post when I feel better.
And I posted, not purely to vent, but also to send a message out to all the no-kid friends out there: enjoy your laziness while you have it.  Relish it.  Do it for me.

My post went something like this:
Ugh, the kids got into the house paint and painted furniture in the garage.  I can't just watch a grownup movie on a lazy Sunday anymore?  No, my life revolves completely around them now.  I'm so mad...  I'm venting,  I don't mean it.  Just last night I was considering having another one.

And I really had been seriously considering having another baby.  Mari's brought the idea up a few times lately, and I've noticed that I'm way too cuddly with the kids.  They need their independence but I'm always squeezing and hugging them.  I think it's a sign that I need another little one to hold close.

So it was super ironic that my two sweeties had pulled a Denise the Menace the day after I start internalizing that I'm ready for no.3.

Then my brother starts posting some funny comments about how I should sell them or trade them in for a new car.  And then Jerry posts that: Krissee, this needs to be said. Kids are only made bad by bad parenting. My girls were never bad.

And I've been obsessed with how to respond since!

Responses cycle through my mind incessantly, 'Oh I should of said that.' 'It would have been so cool if I'd said that.'  'That other thing would have really gotten my point across!'

So I'm going to post my dream response here and hope this provides me closure.

My kids aren't bad. My kids are great.  They're just a handful.  And that's what I meant in the post.  I know that you're an awesome dad Jerry.  But I'm really not interested in any parenting advice.  Especially since I know you worked full time, so much of the leg work was done by your ex-wife, and I don't want to be a controlling parent like she was.

And wouldn't it make me feel better to point out that she is totally psycho insane woman who left her daughters with issues, phobias and OCD tendencies.  Not to mention that she has completely deserted them now and has not contacted them for the last two years after she cheated on and divorced their dad, liquidated all assets and ran off to marry an internet lover in Egypt.

So yeah.  I don't want any parenting advice from that family.

What I really said was this: Jerry, I'm going to delete you comment.  Your daughters have really different personalities than my kids do.  I parent both Kaio and Nene the same, and Kaio's a handful but Nene's a little angel.  I'm sure the painting was his idea.

Then I went on to flail and add things that sound stupid in retrospect.  I probably affirmed his belief by admitting to being a bad parent and then trying to explain what lead up to the situation: Mari left the garage door open, and I was just watching a movie instead of taking the kids to a park.

I ended up deleting the whole thread shortly thereafter.

But not before a few others saw it and came to the rescue.  I received notes from friends I haven't talked to in over a decade, "I don't know who that Jerry character is, but never feel like you should never have to quantify your parenting abilities to any other parent. I haven't met your kids, but I am sure that they will grow up to be well rounded adults who can empathize with anyone. Jerry should take a look in the mirror to realize more than likely he is raising two more entitled white kids."
and, "You are a good parent that person is crazy. You also have amazingly smart and creative kids who as a result find more creative ways to be. Which sometimes go against the norms of keeping a clean house."
and, "I sure hoped you're joking Jerry. Or else I might just have to open a can of developmental theory on you"

It was really sweet to get those folks standing up for me.  parenting is really challenging.  I'm not really prepared.  Not sure if it is possible to be prepared

Like just today the neighbor told me that Kaio scratched her car with his bicycle yesterday.  I offered to pay for the detailing (even though we don't have that kind of money), but she said she feels like it was her fault for not watching the kids while they were playing.  I knew that she wasn't out there when I let him go play with the other neighborhood kids.  So I do feel partially responsible for the damage.

Ironically, just Saturday morning Mari and I were talking about being chill parents with a sense of pride.  And agreeing not to chase the kids around with a wet nap, or let paranoia about messes get in the way of enjoying life.  We let the kids figure things out for themselves a bit.  Learn through experience, not by being ordered around.

I never claimed to be a good parent.  We all have our flaws.  I have plenty.  But I make up for them with some positives.  And my kids are good kids dammit!  They're incredibly sweet, loving, well meaning, and generally well behaved.  They're just a handful.  Kaio especially, but in an endearing way.  I don't really know how to stay ahead of all the things that could go wrong.  I'm climbing up the slope of a gigantic learning curve!

I still feel like slamming Jerry with a piece of my mind.  He called my kids bad. punk.
could this basis for de-friending? lol.