Sunday, April 1, 2018

Every Day is the Best Day of My Life

The days flush out from beginning to end with a sense of urgency, like a dream you've already woken up from, but it's so good that you just keep trying to fall back asleep and carry it on and direct it to a happy closure. I feel like at any moment I could get pulled from this reality.  It could be over and I'd be lifted to another dimension. The stoics say that you should always live as if you could die at any moment, you should live for today.

I am stoic. Or should I say, a lazy stoic. Because I don't do anything profound or dangerous. But I do feel a constant potential for death. And that vector, waiting in the horizon, like an arrow pulled back on a bow, makes me cherish the giggles and smiles so deeply. Through every moment of the day, from silly jokes to enacting discipline, I worry that it could be my last opportunity.
Why so dark? Why so goth?

This month my uncle passed away unexpectedly. This month Mariano's uncle passed away. This month others in the parameter of our lives have perished; high school friends, professors, in-laws of relatives, people on the news, etc. The impermanence of life echos saliently. So when that baby girl smiles up at me, I slurp up the joy and let the taste linger.

Through this stoic exercise, of always thinking today could be your last, I have realized that Every Day with My Family is the Best Day of My Life.  There is nothing else I would rather do and no other way I would rather spend my time. I am so grateful for their presence.


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