Friday, May 29, 2009

Trying to find myself in my new life

can i really complain about loosing myslf when my sense of self has always been so fluid anyway?  I've been a mom and an IT professional for over two years now already.  It really should be as much a part of my personality as any other part in my life.  And, maybe the being a mom part is.  Since Kaio was born I have felt lots of motherly instinct.  But, my life as a whole feels like the wrong place.  And I remember fleeting moments in my past, memories of traveling, writing, and observing the world.  I cling to these memories and feel like I was really free then.  Maybe because I had no responsibility except what I created myself.  And maybe it wasn't really freedom but self indulgence.  
Now I'm sitting a coffee shop that has a play area for Kaio and Nalini.  I finally do have a second for self reflection and it reminds me of those days. 
but a second after writing that kaio hits his head and nalini starts crying and my moment is over.  time to go.

Friday, May 22, 2009

first post

I can sum it up real easy.  Living in a town house in the suburbs just a few minutes from where I grew up working in a job i don't enjoy cause i sold out with two kids and an exotic man from another world.  
its not that complicated really.  but everything feels complicated because i've landed myself on the wrong track.  this blog will now log my journey to regain my soul.  my freedom, adoration, and passion for life.  i have somehow tamed myself into submission to the corporate world.  now i must break free of the walls i built myself and carpe diem.  i don't think that i will stop complaining until i do! lol.


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