can i really complain about loosing myslf when my sense of self has always been so fluid anyway? I've been a mom and an IT professional for over two years now already. It really should be as much a part of my personality as any other part in my life. And, maybe the being a mom part is. Since Kaio was born I have felt lots of motherly instinct. But, my life as a whole feels like the wrong place. And I remember fleeting moments in my past, memories of traveling, writing, and observing the world. I cling to these memories and feel like I was really free then. Maybe because I had no responsibility except what I created myself. And maybe it wasn't really freedom but self indulgence.
Now I'm sitting a coffee shop that has a play area for Kaio and Nalini. I finally do have a second for self reflection and it reminds me of those days.
but a second after writing that kaio hits his head and nalini starts crying and my moment is over. time to go.