Attack at the National Building Museum

Today I bashed head first into a giant foam block tower a little girl was building. This made her very upset.  But made me diabolically appeased.

"You broke my tower.  I wasn't done building that!"  The bold little blondy whined in my face.

"It's ok.  You can build it again."  I said politely and unsympathetically.

oh I'm such a mean mommy.

All kids are sacred innocent beings of joy and beauty.  right?  But this girl made my kid cry. and plus, I just didn't like her.  Little did I know, my act was really the hand of karma:

Today we visited the National Building Museum, an awesome cold weather destination.  Basically a huge empty carpeted basilica.  The exhibits line the perimeter of the building while the center hall is completely open.  Kids can run around and tag each other without you having to worry about them breaking anything or begging you to buy them candy.  There were a bunch of families with kids there.

Kaio and Nala loved it.  Mari took Kaio upstairs to see the Lego Building exhibit.  The exhibits require an entrance fee, but general entrance into the museum is free.  Kaio and Mari played in the Lego room for about an hour.  They built a house and a helicopter.  Sounded like fun.

Nala and I kept in the general auditorium playing hide and seek, building things with the giant foam blocks they have out for kids to play with.  Lots of kids were playing together, making and breaking towers on a regular basis.  Like a playground, no rules or regulators governing their interactions.  Just general organic child anarchy with the occasional intervention by parental units.

I guess I'm not the best at intervening and policing.  I let Nala push a boy a couple times before breaking the fight up.  I trust her a bit too much.  She's my sweet little baby.  But, she's getting feisty, defending her castle against the boy who tried to take one of her blocks.

Necessity spurs innovation.  Kaio's red angry bird mysteriously flew the coop two days ago; disappeared. In desperation to make my boy happy, I got creative.  Amazingly, he's really bonded with the little guy.

When Kaio and Mari returned from the Lego exhibit we undertook the mission to create an arch from the blocks.  Each block is labeled with a number indicating the order to stack them to build the arch.  Kaio had his makeshift red angry bird in hand and was foaming at the mouth in anticipation of demolishing the arch with that bird.

The arch is tall, wobbly and really hard to build.  But we got it, just right.  Kaio ran over to me to help make some quick emergency repair on his angry bird's lego beak that had fallen out of place.  And Mariano was just thinking it was steady enough to step away....

CRASH!  the whole thing came a tumblin down.

"NOOO!"  Kaio cried out in disappointment and frustration.  He made a feeble attempt to build it again, but that idea didn't seem to garner support with the rest of the kid troops, whom all had rushed to play with the fallen blocks.  I tried to get the arch going again, but it was useless... like herding cats with yarn balls.

The next best thing, he wanted to crash his angry bird into a four story tower a girl had just constructed.
But she didn't want him to break it.

"Don't destroy my tower."  She demanded to Kaio.

"But I want to break it."  Kaio responded, fighting the resurge in tears from the previous disappointment

He proceeded to glide his angry bird in flight trajectory towards her structure.  Mari and I interceded, "Kaio, she told you that she doesn't want you to break her tower."

Then he really got upset and started to cry. "I want to go home." He said with a pitiful puckered lip.

So we walked over to our stuff and put on our jackets to leave.  The museum was closing in five minutes.  I watched the tower as we gathered our things and the girl had basically deserted it.

"Kaio, do you want to go break that tower with me?"

A smile crept across his somber face and his eyes rose to meet mine, to see if I was serious.

"Yeah, lets go."

He took my hand and advanced across the wide open floor, fake running and pretending to fly, angry bird posed in front with aim on the target.  POW! We knocked into it head first, not realizing there was a baby playing nearby.  But the baby was ok... it's just soft foam.

The girl, however, apparently was not done playing with her tower.

"You broke my tower.  I wasn't done building that!"  She got up in my face.

"It's ok.  You can build it again."  Surprisingly I didn't feel minimal urge to apologize.   The place was about to close anyway.  She'd stepped away from the structure.  Kids had been knocking things over all day.

"Consider it a natural disaster." I turned and said to the air.

I walked away.  Thinking that if her parents saw that, they might be thinking I'm a nasty evil mom who teaches her kids to destroy other kids' creations.  They might be putting a voodoo curse on me right now.

On the way out I mentioned to Mari the girl's reaction.

"It's just karma." He responded.

"What do you mean?"

"She's the one who pushed the arch over before Kaio could break it with the angry bird.  I saw her do this:"  He acted out the little girl slyly bumping with her hip and then making a surprised/oops-face.

"She did it on purpose."

ahh.  no wonder it felt so good to bust her tower.  That was the sweet taste of revenge.

INVASION!!!

In a surprise statement from the Home Force (HF)  Joint Chiefs of Staff, the HF declared resource warfare with The Very Hungry Caterpillar.  The office sited provocation by the caterpillar army, who destroyed garden infrastructure and food stores in the East Garden.  The HF expressed that they would like to negotiate a treaty if possible, however this was in fact a declaration of War until word of caterpillar army retreat.  This request following news that the caterpillar army decimated the east garden: pillaging the towns of Kale and Cauliflower.  Allied with other aphids, the caterpillar army moved on to the town of Pepper. 
In the 1st line of defense, HF dropped a blanket spray of canola oil on the hostile takeover army.  According sources speaking anonymously, two invaders were captured and taken hostage.  The two prisoners of war (POWs) were interrogated by Lt. Kaio, one POW somehow escaped custody and the other was extradited to Quailamino Bay.  He has not been seen or heard from since. 
Home Force defended their treatment of the caterpillar army, "In our operations we try to be as surgical as possible, targeting only hostile forces and bases of operations, not the general caterpillar population. " According to the HF spokesperson, Geneva conventions were followed in every case.  
Call to the caterpillar army for comment was not returned in time for print of this article.  

The Kiss

Lovies

Yes, I will be showing this to all his girlfriends

only 4 and already so charming

Only 2 and such presence

And here's mine.

Santa Claus Magic

The kids know who Santa Claus is.  How could you not?  They go to daycare and preschool, so they know about the guy with the white beard and the red coat.  Nala's daycare owner asked Kaio, "What did you ask Santa to bring you?"

He didn't know what she was talking about.  I told her that we don't give gifts from Santa at home.  I just never thought to perpetuate the Santa myth in my house.  It seemed silly.  Why should we pretend?  

Then something magical happened that made me change face and realize that next year we are going to embrace the Santa Claus Magic.  

Christmas eve Kaio was downstairs with my mom while I was baking a traditional Romanian holiday cake (only making it gluten free ;)) She comes upstairs to tell me that the TV just asked Kaio what he wanted from Santa Claus and he said responded to the TV, "A propeller airplane!"

She was freaking out,  "We have to get him a propeller airplane, he said that is what he wants from Santa."

Well there was not much that I could do at that point, being 5:30pm on Christmas eve just an hour before we were set to leave for my dad's Christmas Eve dinner.  Kaio did already have a wooden propeller airplane, and I thought I could box that up and gift to him.  lol.  as if he wouldn't remember it was already his.

A bit later when Mari returned home, I asked Kaio myself, "What do you want Santa to bring you for Christmas?"

Again, he responded he wanted a propeller airplane.  Then I started to really distress, like, oh no.  I guess that he really does want one.

I looked to Mari, "What do we do?"  

He half smiled with assurance, "Don't worry, I have something."  

There was the magic.  Two days ago Mari had visited a craft store to buy some candy for his coworkers and saw an airplane kit that he felt compelled to get for Kaio.  We don't usually exchange gifts.  The kids get plenty of gifts from extended family.  So why should we go out and purchase more toys?  Mari did not seek a toy for Nala.  Just this one model airplane that he thought Kaio would like.  Oh, and it happened to be a propeller airplane too.

I would have never guessed on the first shot that this would be Kaio's Santa wish.  He is so much more into trains than anything else.  So I really believe that Santa was out there, watching for his kids; making sure that all the little ones have their Christmas wishes come true.  Even if their parents don't believe.

On Christmas when we were almost done exchanging the gifts and when Kaio was siting down with his uncle building a Lego firetruck - and in-the-zone, I brought Kaio the bag and said it was from Santa.  He opened it and was slightly interested that it was a plane.  But when he saw the propellers, he turned ecstatic.  

Stop the press on the Lego truck, we've got to build this propeller plane now!

He carried it around all day, proud that Santa had heard him and brought him a plane.  "Look Santa Claus brought me a propeller airplane for Christmas!"  One little kid in a world of billions, getting his modest wish.

That was our magic.  And now I'm not going to consider Santa as a myth that we have to lie and pretend about.  I'm going to see this as an opportunity to imagine.  How often do we get to play out fantasy as adults anyways?  So I'm going to embrace the chance to role play and we will go all out next year.  Cookies and milk and all.  

Mutiny! The Rebellion Begins

My kids are starting to collaborate together as partners in deviance against their mother.  The first sign was on Monday at an evening picnic.  The kids had been playing on the swings and slide for an hour while my girlfriend and I tried to figure out how to start bbq charcoals without our men around.  When the chicken finally cooked, I asked the kids to sit at the picnic bench.  They usually sit at the table at dinner time and know to do that, so this shouldn't have been an issue.  But the playground was so close and beaconing.  LittleMan tried to escape first and I called him back to the table with the extra encouragement of special Paleo brownies after dinner.  Then GirlFriend decided she was done and made a break for it.  She was not coming back with my words so I started to go fetch her when LM grabbed my arm and tried to hold me back.  I paused and thought about what was happening... was he trying to stop me from getting her? helping her avoid capture?  I had to laugh because that would be so cute.  I said, "LittleMan are you aiding you sister's descent?" "You guys are teaming up against me!"  He got a kick out of it.  I pretended like he was strong enough to really hold me back for a bit.  We all thought it was funny.  But also the start of trouble.

Then this evening after getting home from daycare something similar happened again. GirlFriend climbed out of her car seat like David Copperfield and into the front seat to take a turn driving the car.  Then she found my makeup in the center console.  I had to pull her out of the car because it would have been too messy an affair and too expensive to replace.  She was very upset that she couldn't play with the makeup and decided to run away.  Oh dear, here is a preview into the teenage years.  She ran to the edge of our yard, stopped, looked back at me, took a couple steps father, looked back at me... My arms were full with their lunch boxes and shoes.  I asked LM to go grab her.  He pretended that he didn't hear me and took off running in the other direction.  I found him by the garage and asked him again to go get her, "Go get your sister. Go get her.  Go ahead."  I knew that she would go with him but she might run away from me.  So he started to fulfill my request but then decided to try to knock the driveway lamppost over instead.  lol.  I realized that they were doing it again; teaming up to help keep the other one out of trouble.  GirlFriend was getting bored that I wasn't pursuing her so she make a tactical adjustment.  She cut across the yard to the driveway and started going down the driveway towards the street.  LittleMan was still just letting her go.  I dropped the bags and ran to her.  When I arrived she had a huge grin on her face, the kind that is so cute that you can't help but smile too.  I picked her up and headed inside saying, "mutiny!  I can't believe it.  mutiny against me!"  I made LittleMan carry the bags as penalty for not following my directions and getting his sister.  He didn't mind so I bet he thought the short lived revolution was worth the punishment.

Midnight Marauder

So although things have been calmer this week, they have not been free of mischief and calamity.  This morning, when I came downstairs to make breakfast, I heard a noise coming from the powder room.  The faucet was on.  In front of the faucet was a huge mess where the contents of the coat closet were spilled and scattered all over the floor.  My inner Shurlock Homes got to work.
A bag of lolly pops that had been on the top shelve of the closet (Halloween candy from two years ago), was now on the floor and lolly pops were all over the place!  Then, there was a bar stool taken from the kitchen, and a little chair, and a stepping stool from the bathroom, and a box, and even a cork cutting board that we just bought from Ikea, all pilled around the mess that had spilled out of the closet.  It seemed like someone - someone pretty short - had stacked these items to reach something on the top shelve.  But then probably needed to jump or lunge to grab, which forced everything to topple to the ground.  Hmm... What do you think dear Watson?
Yes, he stacked a cutting board on top of a box, on top of a stepping stool, on top of a chair, on top of a bar stool!  Dually, frightening and impressive.  Then, he jumped to grab the bag of lolly pops, which he got well enough to spill all over the floor along with some coats and a double stroller.
I cleaned up all the lolly pops and threw the devil candy away.  After LittleMan woke up and as we were leaving the house, I pointed to the mess and asked if he knew what happened.  "Lolly pops fell.  Lolly pops fell."  He said.
Ah ha! He confessed to the crime!  How would he have known their were lolly pops since I had cleaned them up? unless, he had participated in the act.  Ah ha!
I looked at Mari for direction.  Now what do we do?  Do we punish him?  It did not look like he actually ate any of the lolly pops, it looks like the fall scared him into fleeing.  I think that I ended up telling him something about staying in bed or climbing being dangerous.  I don't really remember because at this point, I was just happy that he stayed in the house.  I mean, if we didn't wake up to the sound of a double stroller falling out of a closet along with chairs, cutting boards, and lolly pops; then we definitely would not have heard the front door open.
So the lesson to self is: if one passes out in bed exhausted with a headache and the other one passes out in an allergy / Claritin coma, put up a baby gate on the stairs to keep the kids from mischief, candy, poison, and/or exiting the premises.   Freaky.

The Dawning of the Age of Aquarius

The world is preparing for a major shift in human culture.  Meanwhile, my house is undergoing its own transformation.  Last weekend the kids had their first fight with each other.  GirlFriend is almost 15 months now and LittleMan 3 years old.  I wish that I had caught the episode on film because it was the most precious thing.  How simple and silly it began; with an orange.  
So Mari was on the sofa, splitting the orange in triangles for LM when GF came like the Swiper and grabbed the little bowl with half an orange inside.  LM was not a fan and went running after her, "baby no!"  
He grabbed the bowl back and tried to tug it away from her while she held her ground and kept a firm grip.  I was in the laundry room washing diapers during this beginning fight, decidedly letting Mari handle it and not stepping in to regulate (see I'm trying to not be such a control freak).  So then Mari snatched the oranges away from both of them, and I hear screaming and crying on both ends.  When I finally venture out to see what is going on the kids are hysterically grasping towards the oranges, and it is not like there was not enough to share.  So I calmly said, 'ok the oranges are going in time out because they made you cry.  When you guys calm down we can have some oranges."
I put them on top of a shelf.  Oh that caused some unhappy campers.  LM was crying because I took his oranges away.  GF was crying because she thought that was the thing to do.  I sat down to be on their level and they both started climbing on me, competing for who could get more leg and shoulder real estate.  It was their first major fight.  I asked Mari to start video taping, but it calmed down before he could get the camera.  
There was even a point when they started to get a little physical.  This was also cute and I had to try hard to take it seriously.  They each were limply flapping their hands over the other's hand and whining,.  It looked like a gay men's cat fight.  I stopped it quickly.  But, some times when I see these behaviors that are absurd; but so raw, pure, and organic in the way that they surface - it fascinates me and I catch myself watching when I should be saying mommy things.  
So I guess that we hit our first major milestone in brother-sister relations this weekend. 

Potty Trained Ain't all it's Cracked up to Be

After spending 3 years dreaming wistfully about the day that LM would stop using diapers, I have come to realize that a potty trained kid ain't all sunshine and rainbows.  Gone are the days when we could just throw him in the car and go.  Now, I have to think about when he last went and whether he can hold it until the next destination.  Sometimes there are messy accidents if he does not remember to make it to the potty.  Last Friday we were leaving to go to daycare about 20 minutes away and I knew that he had not taken a morning pee.  I told him that we were not leaving until he went potty, and he had a fit.  He refused to go and started screaming when Mari took him in the powder room.  He also refused to put on a diaper for the ride.  I started to leave without him because I did not want him to pee in my car.  Then I thought to suggest that he pee on a plant outside.  He thought this was a good compromise and agreed.  So I pulled down his pants and he peed on my lavender plant.  Win win because human urine is acidic and has yummy vitamins for growing plants.
The weekend was beautiful and we went to Rock Creek Park to bike ride.  During our outing he wanted to potty again, determined to pee into Rock Creek.  I wouldn't let him get close to the bank, but I let him let loose on some nearby plants.  Why not? It is socially acceptable for guys to whip it out when restrooms are out of range; and it is good for the plants.
So I thought that everything was cool with LM's new relationship with nature.  Until I saw him relieving himself on the deck of our friend's apartment during a children's birthday party.  Yeah, so apparently I didn't explain the appropriate places vs. the not appropriate places and so he just innocently concluded that the world was his potty!

How to get laid when co-sleeping

Over at a friend's house on New Years it came out that Nalini was still sleeping in bed with us.  One of my girlfriends, who is also a mom, looked at Mari and I and said, "how does that work?"  Mari responded totally nonchalantly, "oh we just push her over to the side and that's that."  

I think that most mainstream people believe that co-sleeping ruins the intimacy in your relationship.  But I don't think that is the case for us.  We find all kinds of creative places to get it on while the kids are sleeping.  A couple lucky days we have even met up at home at lunch time for a quickie.  That is super romantic.  

I have found that after a few days of a dry spell I get cranky and irritable.  The biggest challenge is finding a night when I'm not completely exhausted!   But when we do it always pays off because we are extra playful and loving the next day.  

What I really don't get is how those parents with 10 children ever find time to procreate more!

Body Parts

Logically, because he is part Brazilian, Kaio likes butts.  However I did not realize how ingrained in his DNA this magnetism towards tooshes would be.  If he sees my butt, or the baby's butt, or even a doll's fabric butt from under her skirt, then he tries to touch it.  He gets that little happy giggle going and tries to stroke the butt.  He even completely embarrassed us at his daycare Christmas party when a 9 month old girl was standing up playing on a toy keyboard and he lifted up her skirt and slapped her on the ass.  Oh her daddy got a kick out of that :)
Nalini, since she is nursing, likes boobies.  She has just really got the hang of signing as an easy way to communicate and so she is always asking for milk.  Now when she she sees the boobs, she signs to ask for permission, and then she lunges at the boobs.  I remember that with Kaio I used to have to take a shower with my bikini on, because otherwise i would be taking a shower with a munchkin latched to my chest. i don't think it will come to that with the new baby because Nala is less demanding and more easily distracted away from the boob.  But with Kaio, no toy or treat could get him to change tragectery if he saw a nipple.  
Funny that now he has no recollection of how to nurse, at all.