I'm such a bad mother. I flipped out and hit my kid. I smacked him after the second time he screeched at the top of his lungs, "No!!!" Then I said I didn't care about what happened to him anymore and ran out of the room.
I know I'm not supposed to do these things now-a-days. We shouldn't use violence, use derogatory language, admit that we're vulnerable to emotions and can tip out of control. This is my confession booth.
I could blame it on this being the way I've been raised. My dad used to react the same way though our power struggles, where I dared him to make it hurt more.
But I know that's no excuse. I need to be better than the past. and as Mari points out, I'm modeling overreaction to Kaio.
i just don't know what to do sometimes. He doesn't listen. He pushes and pushes and pulls me, literally and figuratively. He's totally insane. He gets frustrated very easily, cries and flails his legs. He wont respect limits or directions, even those that regard his safety or the safety of those around him. If I could, I'd give up. That's how I feel right now.
Any suggestions? I'm all ears.
i am having a lot of days like this. i find that if i just keep restating back to her what she is saying to me, she hears that i am listening to her. it can take just as long as a fit. but she recovers. the book, the happiest toddler on the block was pretty helpful. i am also going to read 'how to behave so your preschooler will.'
ReplyDeleteman, i can lose it. i spank have spanked. but i don't want to. and so i have forgiven myself. and i have forgiven my mother for her violent voice and hands. the trick isn't to not get frustrated and mad. its to breath deep and look deeply for compassion and empathy within yourself for your child. because little people have yet to develop those qualities. (easier said than done, i know! but i had to clean her poop of the preschool's nursery walls last week after a huge tantrum, and enlist the help of other mamas!) you're a good mama.
Crystal thank you so much for posting this. I feel very different from other moms sometimes so it is just nice to know that you are out there. I haven't read either of those books but I will -try to- check them out. Last couple days I've been keeping calm and repeating back, like you said, it does seem to help but he still explodes. Man poop on the walls. did you everything you'd be so unphased cleaning poop? Side effect of parenting.
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