Friday, November 11, 2011

Heart Center Opened, Love Opened.

Happiness, like love, is hard to define; but when you feel it you know it.  On the plane back from Brazil I realized I'm truly happy right now.

We're back in the USA.  Made it back yesterday and proud to say that I survived a 9000 mile, 24 hour trip alone with two little kids.  Airports suck, layovers suck, gates switching on you without warning or appearing on the television suck, crowded airplanes with center seats and kids sitting on your lap begging to go potty while the plane is on the tar mat in a long line for take off - suck.  But all in all I'm giving the voyage an A since nothing really bad happened.  There were a few nice people who offered to help along the way.  Just simply keeping an eye on our bags while I toke one of the kids to the bathroom for the 3rd time that hour was a huge help!  Then yesterday when Nala fell asleep before boarding and I needed both hands to move her on the plane; there was a nice man who wheeled our carry-on for us.

"I don't ask God for anything, everyday I just thank him for all that we have."

During our goodbyes at the airport, that was the last thing Mari's mom said - with a huge smile and her hands pressed against her chest embracing her heart. It has stuck with me like a cozy sweater.  I'm so grateful right now.  Sitting here on the sofa, in the silence, I'm shinning through my chest and heart with love, happiness, and gratuity.

On the plane ride I stared at the sleeping children feeling happiness.  Happiness, like love, is hard to define; but when you feel it you know it.  Happiness is different than fun.  You can have fun, but not be happy or joyful.

On the plane I realized I'm truly happy right now.  

So thankful for getting laid off of my job and pushed to spend more time exploring the world with my kids and less time dressed in suits sitting in boring meetings.  The last four months have been so fun and made me realize how fantastic the kids are.  They've also rekindled my motherly intuition and made me recognize that I'm a really great mom too.  I don't feel overwhelmed so much anymore, and this successful trip validated how cohesive we've become.  I'm just so grateful to have this opportunity and for Mari being supportive.

And speaking of Mari, I'm so head-over-heels in love.

As a little girl I dreamed about my husband and dreamed of being in love, but I had no idea...  I mean it seems like every year we peel through another layer of emotion and unity, binding us deeper and more passionately.

I believe in love at first sight.  I thought I loved him when I first saw him from afar though the dull glimmer of dark humid air on florescent light.  Through the noise of the party we sought each other out all night long talking and smiling.

I have so much to be thankful for right now:
Yoga teacher training, amazing extended family, loving and supportive husband.
oh and
The kids are potty trained, they go to bed without issue and sleep through the night!

Life is so much easier.

I don't know what I did to deserve this great life.  But thank you universe.


  1. this post made me smile. happiness is contagious! :-)

    i've been wanting to tell you this for a couple weeks - zeffie has started pointing to the computer and asking for 'kaio'. i was reading your blog a little while ago and she wanted to see what i was doing, so i showed her pictures of the kids and told them who they were....she doesnt have a lot of words yet but she said 'kaaaai-oh' in a very cute toddler voice, and now she does this on regular basis! its really cute. i hope they get to hang out sometime soon (soon meaning before they are teenagers, ha ha). :-)


  2. Soo freggin cute! could they be soul mates perhaps? yes, they need to hang out soon.

  3. what a beautiful posting. seriously. if only we could all be so lucky to have such epiphanies in well as kids who are potty trained and sleeping through the night. :) what a joy to read on this friday morning. thank you for sharing!

  4. Hi Pamela! shouldn't we get some parenting diploma when the kids are potty trained and sleep though the night? It takes years of working on to achieve.



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