Thursday, June 3, 2010

Focusing on the Family

I did it, I asked my boss if I could cut two days off my work schedule to be at home with my kids!  The conversation had been cycling through my head for months, I practiced every word that I would say, every point I would make, and every concession I would give.
The exchange did not go as planned.
Half way through the first sentence my lips began to tremble and I fought back tears, "I wanted to ask you if I could reduce the days I am working so I can spend more time with my kids."
I completely choked up, "They are growing up so fast and I...."  
I couldn't even finish because I was just crying!  I felt out of control, "I practiced this so many times in my head, I can't believe I'm crying."  
It was kind of embarrassing to be so vulnerable in front of her like that.  I'm not a crier, so this was a huge surprise to me.
But, like a fairy godmother, she responded with warmth, "Yes you can, and even if you wanted to be a full time mom I would understand.  Family comes first.  We will do whatever works for you."
and wisdom, "My mom worked full time and I always resented her for not being there like my friends; moms were.  If I ever had kids I would have wanted to stay home with them."
It went so well, despite my scene.
She even started to tear up at a point when talking about her mom, and her ex-husband, and her miscarriages.    
We were such a bunch of emotional women.
So I touched on pretty much all the points I lined up in my planned speech, although every time I opened my mouth I lost it!
She even suggested that I start sooner than I expected, and thinks that I should try continuing full time and working long days on the days that I am in the office.  If that turns out to be too much, then convert to part time and less hours a week.  I think that sounds like a good idea.  I heard from another mom that working 3 - 12 hour days is better than 5 - 8 hour days because you don't notice the extra hours and the free days are time to play.  As it is I work 9 hours most days.
This marks a huge milestone for me in finding myself as a mother.  Both my parents worked full time and I think that somehow blinded me from seeing part-time mom or SAHM as an option.
What a relief to have that over with!  I am already day dreaming of the day-off activities :).


  1. wow!! great news. i am so happy for you!!

  2. Awe Tama. It's so nice to know you are out there! thank you!



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