Then I had another moment of clarity. I should just apply to the damn acupuncture program that I've been contemplating and dreaming about for the last four years. At every turning point in my life I somehow talk myself out of applying. First, I wasn't ready for the commitment, then we didn't have health insurance, then I was afraid we couldn't pay the mortgage. I thought I was being selfish and reckless. Well, that's enough excuses. I'm sick of people asking me what I do, and feeling out of place and awkward with my answer. If we go into debt, we go into debt. That's what happens to every grad student, and aren't half of Americans in debt or $30K or something like that? That is what everyone does to pay for their education. And when I emerge I will do a job that I am proud of, and something I can be passionate about. And that will be setting a good example for my kids. I want to show them that they can live their dreams and be what they want to be when they grow up, even if it may be difficult at times.
So I quickly started the application process. I need to finish by July 31st to get in for September. I'm almost done, and as I was writing my application essay, I started to realize how right this feels. When I told my yoga teacher about it she said that I should still do the teacher training when it is available. That feels right too. I'm still really worried about how the money will work out, but I wont know how much financial aid will be until I get accepted.
I actually got a call back from a recruiter for one of the IT jobs that I applied for before I decided to put all my energy into acupuncture. I did not call the recruiter back though. I'm hoping that if I stick with my current employer, then they will be more open to letting me stay on part time while I'm in school.
oh I hope I get in and I hope this works out!