Dropping the Ball!

I realized today that I do not have things under control at all.  My kids are 5 and 3, I've been home with them full time for a year now, you'd think I'd have figured out this motherhood thing.  But, no, I'm just flying my the seat of my pants on a daily basis.  I can't remember the last time I had dinner ready by the time Mari got home.  Most days he gets home and then I realize, oh I should cook something.   Same for lunch, the kids have hot dogs and cheese cubes with salad almost every day.

And I wish I could look around the house and take pride in all the cleaning and organizing I have been doing instead of cooking!  But, the house is a mess.

It's this whole SUMMER thing.  It's just got me off track.  One week we're home, one week we're gone.

 The kids were in camp last week in the morning so we were out of the house till 2 every day.  My summer semester started and I've been taking classes two nights a week.  Plus, our renters dropped the bomb that they're departing the lease early and I've been showing the place 10times a week.   Then when it finally looked like we had secured new tenants, an air quality inspection uncovered mold behind the washer dryer.  So now I'm dealing with that.

Luckily my mom is in town to help out.  She's been cooking dinner most nights, which just makes me forget to think about food at all.  Today I actually gave the kids leftover half melted ice cream cake for lunch.  Dude, what is wrong with me?

I'd just love to, like, look at a new recipe in a cook book or magazine and get all the ingredients to make it.
It sounds so easy.  But seems so impossible to accomplish because it involves focusing long enough to read a recipe, making a list, and going to the grocery store.  I must be in a food rut, huh?
Kind of like putting away the papers and mail on the table seems impossible right now too.

I tried to enforce a 'quiet time' today and ended up injured as Kaio dropped a monster truck on my arm from the top bunk while I read Nala a story about The Cookie Monster.  It hurt and I started crying, but more out of hopelessness and frustration at the lack of control than pain.  Then I passed out asleep on Kaio's bed and woke up abruptly to one of the kids barging in, bellowing about being hungry.  By the time I peal off the bed, he's downstairs eating a chocolate ice cream bar.  So that's two meals today consisting of ice cream!

So July is a crumbly piece of blackberry pie.  I hope I can figure out how to get back into a grove this week. and actually have a little bit of a schedule.  Or, not, maybe summer is all about playing video games and eating ice cream.

mom, now can i fly like a kite?