Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Beach of Harmony

A buffalo towing our car out of the mud
I returned from a vacation to visit Mariano's family in Brazil last week.  We were there for a little over two weeks and since I've been back people have been commenting on how much happier I seem.  Well it must be the vacation because not much else has changed.  I actually loved it and it was worth the pain of traveling with children.  Although Kaio struck sick the first week and that was really scary.  He was coughing persistently and with a high fever.  And of course the thermometer was in Celsius, whatever the hell that means, so I was lost.  He ended up getting bronchitis.  We stuffed him full of drugs after none of the natural remedies worked.  It took him a while to start having fun.  It took all of us a while to start having fun after that.

We visited Marajo Island and I fell in love with it.  The beach was gorgeous.  And better yet there are very few cars on the island.  Everyone gets around with bicycles!  I totally fell in love and want to move there.  I spent the rest of the vacation trying to convince my man of this.  I would really like to.  He wants to secure some way to make money first, ideally by getting his pilot's license.  I hope that he does soon.  The only problem is that we are really stuck to our house right now because we are in the red.  I'm not sure exactly how to make it work, but I am inspired!

This island has one of the lowest GDPs in Brazil but the highest life span.  People a truly happy there and there is no hunger, no homelessness.  It seemed as if poverty did not exist even though people do not have money.  I felt like it is a really beautiful place to live and be happy.  What do we need all this money for anyway?  The island is exactly in tune with my current values: to live simply and free of pollution and chemicals.  I want to move there!













Friday, May 29, 2009

Trying to find myself in my new life

can i really complain about loosing myslf when my sense of self has always been so fluid anyway?  I've been a mom and an IT professional for over two years now already.  It really should be as much a part of my personality as any other part in my life.  And, maybe the being a mom part is.  Since Kaio was born I have felt lots of motherly instinct.  But, my life as a whole feels like the wrong place.  And I remember fleeting moments in my past, memories of traveling, writing, and observing the world.  I cling to these memories and feel like I was really free then.  Maybe because I had no responsibility except what I created myself.  And maybe it wasn't really freedom but self indulgence.  
Now I'm sitting a coffee shop that has a play area for Kaio and Nalini.  I finally do have a second for self reflection and it reminds me of those days. 
but a second after writing that kaio hits his head and nalini starts crying and my moment is over.  time to go.

Friday, May 22, 2009

first post

I can sum it up real easy.  Living in a town house in the suburbs just a few minutes from where I grew up working in a job i don't enjoy cause i sold out with two kids and an exotic man from another world.  
its not that complicated really.  but everything feels complicated because i've landed myself on the wrong track.  this blog will now log my journey to regain my soul.  my freedom, adoration, and passion for life.  i have somehow tamed myself into submission to the corporate world.  now i must break free of the walls i built myself and carpe diem.  i don't think that i will stop complaining until i do! lol.

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