Today was a challenge; the first day being at home where I really felt overwhelmed and out of control. Is it because I'm surfing the crimson wave and my hormones are a flux? Is it because I had a dentist appointment and so didn't get to do a morning fun activity with the kids? Is it because the family is fighting off a cold and thus not at its best? Is it because my work responsibilities are caving in on my day with the kids?
I guess it could be all or a mix. Today was off the rocker. Since returning home from my morning dentist appointment things did not stop. I couldn't even take time for a bathroom break. I was buckling the kids in the car seat, running around finding LittleMan's Thomas train, leading them through the shopping mall to the play area; all while talking on the phone in a meeting. Then, when we got home I rushed to make lunch pronto, while keeping the kids at the table, and responding to emergency emails. I was in a time crunch to put them down for nap in time for an important 2pm meeting. It felt insane. All I could think was, "This is not working out. I'm dumb to be living like this. I want to quit and move to a farm out west where I can focus on the kids and not worry about stupid software."
So that was my conclusion from today. But, it seems pretty rash. I mean, it is nice to make money and be saving for retirement and stuff. But geeze, I need to stop having meetings on my days with the kids.
No quiting my job yet because the dentist this morning told me that I need thousands of dollars of work on my teeth. He's a holistic dentist and he said that my neck and back pain is being caused by problems with my bite, which was caused by braces! Man, I'm so pissed at the world for screwing with children like me: giving us candy, and braces, and mercury fillings without regard.