to have a bigger purpose, don't think forwards. think backwards. see, feel, understand the effect you want to have - and then be the cause. - Umair Haque
That quote came from the twitter feed of a business advisor, but it has been sticking in my thoughts as guidance that needs to apply to all our lives. I noticed, that I've been 80% reactionary, and only 20% proactive in my family's life. Like, we have made some conscious decisions: move to DC to get better jobs, have kids, and change my schedule to have more time with the kids. But most of the other circumstances (changing jobs, changing daycare, moving to my mom's house to save money, and looking for preschool) have been reactionary, based on trying to find the best approach to the situation that we landed in. I think that even the big decision to buy a house was more of a reaction to the fact that we had jobs that paid enough we could afford a house, than a fulfillment of the dream of home ownership.
Perhaps it is time to step back and think about 'what is the life that we want to lead?' And then be the cause. That is the type of 'planning' that we have not been doing. What exactly do we want our life to look like? What environment do we want for our kids? Then take that vision and fill in the steps to make that happen. I think that could send things on a different trajectory entirely.